Personal Space
Spent almost an entire day with a friend today. The bizarre thing is, we only knew each other this year, maybe about 3 months ago, on a school project, and we kinda hit it off right after that. Not even during. I guess that's the way friendship goes. Now, we just never seem to run out of things to say and I always look forward to meeting her. It is a very nice sisterly feeling that I never really had with anyone so far.
We talked about anything and everything and one of the things we discussed was getting our personal pad. She's a housing agent, so naturally she was familiar with the market. I've always wanted to have a place of my own since last year, but it never really materialised because of family obligations. Yet I am in constant struggle with the need of my own space and the emotional commitment to home. And not to mention the distance I have to travel to get to anywhere.
Now, as I embark on a desperate attempt to revamp my brother's room, so that I don't have to put up with the built-in kiddish furniture in my own, I wonder when will I be able to have a place of my own? The only reason why I am investing so much time and effort in colour coordinating and beautifying my soon-to-be room is because at the end of the day, it is my haven away from everyone else.
Sometimes I just want to be left alone. I don't feel like talking to anyone at home, nor hear anything, because most of the time, there's nothing good to hear. After much standing, walking and talking during the day because of my job, the last thing I want to do is to come home to more talking and unpleasant revelations. Which is why I yearn for that solitude in a place of my own.
The truth is, I know my absence will remind my family members not to take me for granted, and vice versa. While my intention of staying put is so that I can spend more time with my parents before their time is up, I start to wonder if I should focus more on quality rather than quantity. Because it seems that there is no point if you spend so much time together but get on one another's nerves, if you can spend less time but make the best out of it.
Then there's the problem with household chores. It seemed like they could manage on their own during the time I was living away from home, but has additional tasks (and complaints too) now because of my return. Sure, there are two ways I can alleviate their problem:
1. help out
2. move out
Aiya, just help out la, some would say. Sure, saying I don't have time will probably sound like an excuse, but to me, the biggest problem with helping out is the collision of different styles of management. All of us have a certain way of doing things which is intolerable to others, so sometimes, everyone's better off just maintaining the status quo. So there, looks like moving out is a better option.
Now finding the ideal home is not like shopping for a handphone. Depending on the type of property, there are hidden costs to look out for, excluding renovation and furnishing costs. So far the areas I'm looking at, either they're not for sale, or they've all been taken up. Renting is the other option but not being able to do up the place the way I want it makes it less inviting.
Sigh.
I guess the battle continues.
We talked about anything and everything and one of the things we discussed was getting our personal pad. She's a housing agent, so naturally she was familiar with the market. I've always wanted to have a place of my own since last year, but it never really materialised because of family obligations. Yet I am in constant struggle with the need of my own space and the emotional commitment to home. And not to mention the distance I have to travel to get to anywhere.
Now, as I embark on a desperate attempt to revamp my brother's room, so that I don't have to put up with the built-in kiddish furniture in my own, I wonder when will I be able to have a place of my own? The only reason why I am investing so much time and effort in colour coordinating and beautifying my soon-to-be room is because at the end of the day, it is my haven away from everyone else.
Sometimes I just want to be left alone. I don't feel like talking to anyone at home, nor hear anything, because most of the time, there's nothing good to hear. After much standing, walking and talking during the day because of my job, the last thing I want to do is to come home to more talking and unpleasant revelations. Which is why I yearn for that solitude in a place of my own.
The truth is, I know my absence will remind my family members not to take me for granted, and vice versa. While my intention of staying put is so that I can spend more time with my parents before their time is up, I start to wonder if I should focus more on quality rather than quantity. Because it seems that there is no point if you spend so much time together but get on one another's nerves, if you can spend less time but make the best out of it.
Then there's the problem with household chores. It seemed like they could manage on their own during the time I was living away from home, but has additional tasks (and complaints too) now because of my return. Sure, there are two ways I can alleviate their problem:
1. help out
2. move out
Aiya, just help out la, some would say. Sure, saying I don't have time will probably sound like an excuse, but to me, the biggest problem with helping out is the collision of different styles of management. All of us have a certain way of doing things which is intolerable to others, so sometimes, everyone's better off just maintaining the status quo. So there, looks like moving out is a better option.
Now finding the ideal home is not like shopping for a handphone. Depending on the type of property, there are hidden costs to look out for, excluding renovation and furnishing costs. So far the areas I'm looking at, either they're not for sale, or they've all been taken up. Renting is the other option but not being able to do up the place the way I want it makes it less inviting.
Sigh.
I guess the battle continues.
posted by Me at 9:50 AM
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