Over and over again?
Yesterday I read an interview by a local female celebrity who happened to like giving rather lyrical quotes. By that I meant quotes that make you go "Aww....that's so _____ (sweet/romantic/nice, you fill in your own)." One particular quote was one of those complete the sentence type of questions: At the age of 30, ...
"...to fall in love with the same person over and over again, get married and have children."
Something along those lines.
Wow. Is it really possible to fall in love with the same person over and over again?
Realistically speaking, it is almost impossible to recreate that initial heady feeling of having a crush after being with the same person for 3 years. As much as how some couples tell you they try to find new activities to do together to maintain the relationship or how the lack of time they have with one another is compensated by the quality of what they do when they meet, your familiarity with this person will most certainly reduce that heart-skipping-a-beat-when-you-see-him syndrome. It's a psychological thing I suppose. That's why they say at the beginning, everything is always rosy and pretty, because try as you want, you just can't seem to find anything wrong with that guy and he might not find anything amiss about you. I guess maybe at the beginning of courtship where both parties are crazy about one another, they are at their best, because either they're trying to win the other's heart, or they want to be won over. It is the post-courtship where the true test comes.
So if this celebrity is unable to fall in love with the same person over and over again, is that a physical limitation that applies to all human beings or simply because she hasn't found that person able to stimulate that kind of consistent interest?
My perception of love is slightly different I guess. There's no one uniform way to romantic love or happy marriage. It's like how all those female magazines have those street interviews where they ask "What's your idea of a perfect date?" My answer really differs depending on who I have in mind.
I'm not jaded or cynical, because it's not like I've been through countless failed romances. It's just that as I outgrow the puppy love phase, the adolescent relationship phase, I start to learn from the past and form new perceptions about love and relationships.
A friend used to tell me that his idea of a good relationship is when both parties can inspire and help one another be better. He is now happily attached, or rather, he has finally found someone he feels deep enough for, because he wants to inspire her as much as she motivates him.
I was very much enlightened, because it is true. Being with someone is not an act of possession. It is an emotional complement. The challenging bit is not so much how to stay in love with the person for a long time. It is how to remain supportive, motivating, inspiring, understanding, sensitive through the trials and tribulations a couple has to face.
So my answer:
At the age of 30, I want to be able to give the man I fell in love with a year ago, more than just all those mentioned above, but also a family he wants to come home to.
"...to fall in love with the same person over and over again, get married and have children."
Something along those lines.
Wow. Is it really possible to fall in love with the same person over and over again?
Realistically speaking, it is almost impossible to recreate that initial heady feeling of having a crush after being with the same person for 3 years. As much as how some couples tell you they try to find new activities to do together to maintain the relationship or how the lack of time they have with one another is compensated by the quality of what they do when they meet, your familiarity with this person will most certainly reduce that heart-skipping-a-beat-when-you-see-him syndrome. It's a psychological thing I suppose. That's why they say at the beginning, everything is always rosy and pretty, because try as you want, you just can't seem to find anything wrong with that guy and he might not find anything amiss about you. I guess maybe at the beginning of courtship where both parties are crazy about one another, they are at their best, because either they're trying to win the other's heart, or they want to be won over. It is the post-courtship where the true test comes.
So if this celebrity is unable to fall in love with the same person over and over again, is that a physical limitation that applies to all human beings or simply because she hasn't found that person able to stimulate that kind of consistent interest?
My perception of love is slightly different I guess. There's no one uniform way to romantic love or happy marriage. It's like how all those female magazines have those street interviews where they ask "What's your idea of a perfect date?" My answer really differs depending on who I have in mind.
I'm not jaded or cynical, because it's not like I've been through countless failed romances. It's just that as I outgrow the puppy love phase, the adolescent relationship phase, I start to learn from the past and form new perceptions about love and relationships.
A friend used to tell me that his idea of a good relationship is when both parties can inspire and help one another be better. He is now happily attached, or rather, he has finally found someone he feels deep enough for, because he wants to inspire her as much as she motivates him.
I was very much enlightened, because it is true. Being with someone is not an act of possession. It is an emotional complement. The challenging bit is not so much how to stay in love with the person for a long time. It is how to remain supportive, motivating, inspiring, understanding, sensitive through the trials and tribulations a couple has to face.
So my answer:
At the age of 30, I want to be able to give the man I fell in love with a year ago, more than just all those mentioned above, but also a family he wants to come home to.
posted by Me at 6:20 PM
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